Denial
by extra-victory
Summary: Can the planet withstand a drunk meeting between Erza and Jellal? Heavy Jerza, strongly implied Lemon.


Ex-V; The crackest of crackfics. Just see if i can't make you laugh though

(At a local bar)

"You feel my pain, though?" Jellal sighs, Moaning and groaning and tanking shot after shot. "You get it don't you?"

Gajeel Shrugs noncommittally. " I feel your pain bro." He certainly feels _drunk_-

"I knew it." Jellal leans hard against the bar, squeezing tired eyes shut. "i knew you (hic) understood."

Indeed. Gajeel wondered, could Natsu fail to understand after all this? This man, the respectable wizard saint with the child's tolerance had spent nearly three hours bemoaning and elaborating on his fate.

"That chapter 264! _How could I_?"

The metal dragon slayer took a quick break from pouring Rubinoff; Yes, for that, he would take a moment. Any day, man to man, he would place his hand on the comrade's shoulders as such. "That was a hard loss buddy."

He had to acknowledge that, come on. You had to.

Everyone knew it was basically the worst decision ever made, and Jellal had struggled to get past it day in and day out since.

"Bruh, you really could just hit her up." Gajeel reasoned, albeit having returned to pouring drinks a moment prior. Jellal looked briefly up from his head's firm encampment on the bar end.

"I can't(hic)!" He decided, using absolute trash logic; decisively accepting a new shot of dangerous looking colorful Vodka. "Everyone knows that!"

"We do?" Gajeel did his best 'genuinely confused' impression. "How did you figure?"

Jellal glanced away. "Duh, she thinks I'm a huge pussy."

"Oh, that's right." Unable to resist, Gajeel found himself cracking up at the horrified reaction his companion spun to give him; "No, no. I'm kidding."

Jellal drunkenly seized the dragon's shirt. "You're (hic) Kidding?"

"Probably."

The wizard saint, wailing, attempted the well known improv bar-counter auto-lobotomy. "God damnit, that was literally the worst thing a person could do.";

Gajeel resorted to physically restraining him, "Nah, come on bro. Didn't someone, uh...like, eh... murder 50 million people or something?"

"Fuck that shit man, the booty!" Jellal struggled to break free. "You've seen the booty!"

"...I've seen the booty." the metal man admitted.

"Exactly! Exactly!"

Laxus rolled up on the depressing events from behind; "Yo guys, what's the scene for?"

"I'm trying to get drunk." and "I should kill myself." were the stalwart replies he found himself chuckling over.

"That two hundred and sixty fourth chapter, huh?" He looked on teasingly, and the celestial body mage glanced away.

"That never happened, alright? This is the denial stage."

"Right, right. You know, i just called Erza. She's on her way over-"

"YOU FUCKING DIDN'T!"

"Did you really?" Gajeel cocked the impressed left eyebrow.

There was no time for confirmation or denial, however; the Ultramarine had long since activated glowing Meteor magic- This then arced unstably through the locale, smashing the bar, the door, and a house outside at near lightspeed before depositing the mage at a gentle roll along the sidewalk to a firm stop.

"The fuck is this, Jellal?"

The wizard saint stared up at curious eyes belonging to Erza Scarlet, and began mumbling "I'm a respectable person, I've done good things before..." quietly to himself.

"This is unlikely to proceed appropriately;" Gajeel noted.

"Agreed" So Laxus vanished in a flash of brilliant lightning, while the iron fisted dragon slayer struck the unsuspecting requip mage in her lower stomach region. All this to force her mouth open, while Laxus caught the Vodka bottle in midair before her face; Lightning incarnate proceeded to jam the handle down her throat, thereby achieving the appropriate levels of inebriation before dipping hard.

The dragon slayers laughed maniacally while the bar owner sobbed and Erza staggered. "Je...Jelly? Is that you Jelly?"

Wasting no time, Jelly sprung to his feet flipping his hair. "Erza, we (hic) meet again."

She swooned. "Are you gunna put it in me this time?"

Jellal seized her waist determinately and just under her knees, meteor-ing up and backward through the second floor of a nearby establishment.

There was a bed there, to Laxus's incredible bemusement. "first fucking try, that champ." He high fived his obliterated dragon slaying coconspirator; They watched the ultramarine drop the girl on the covers, cheering "Get some!"

"My-herooo" Erza swayed on the mattress, ignoring a middle aged couple who trampled in through the door.

"That's our bed, hey!"

But Jellal had nothing for them, crouching lithely while pronouncing "I will nuke your town I swear to god-"

The clouds swirled about outside obediently, forming a dangerous dark vortex the couple couldn't help but notice through the wall's conspicuous gaping hole. "Ahem...have fun you two!"

"Celestial body magic-indeeeed" Erza was singing pleasantly eying her man.

Ex-V; I enjoy myself too much with this stuff, i really shouldn't drink and write. I know, i know, not one person is really in character. But my purposes demand they not be, see my other work for serious in character plot development!

Hope you enjoyed it- Ill probably type up a second chapter detailing the next morning when Ive sobered up. This really isnt the story to include graphic lemon in -_-


End file.
